of this druggie badass alcoholic lifestyle we strive for so goddamn much.
granted, i’m being a tad bit hypocritical right now, but i don’t drink or smoke just because it’s fucking tuesday.
i do it when i’m pissed off or want to unwind after a shitty week or hang out with my friends or for a celebration.
not just because i have the means to.
probably still being hypocritical, but the lifestyle just pisses me the fuck off. why would you want to drink so much you throw up and black out? that shouldn’t be a fucking goal, that should be a stupid mistake.
and after a while, you should learn your goddamn limits.
i know my limits. i’m a lightweight, and trust me, i am totally aware of it. so what do i do about it? i fucking pace myself so i don’t black out and hug a toilet while the sounds of it flushing sing me a lullaby as i spin off into unconsciousness.
i’ve been drinking since high school and that’s only happened to me twice.
both times in the past year. the first time over the summer after a glass of wine when i got pissed off at my boyfriend, the other time when i had a little too much fun to handle.
but like i said. there are appropriate times and there are “seriously? what the fuck are you doing with your life?” times.
the sad thing is, i’m pretty sure travis is what brought me into this mindset. i’ve had to deal with it for so long i’m pretty much over the whole damn thing.
i used to like going to parties, i used to want to drink on weekends just for the fuck of it.
but no, i’m fucking amish now because my boyfriend abuses the privilege all the fucking time.
angry post. i apologize for the incessant bullshit and bitching and whining.
but everyone has a breaking point, and i think i’ve reached mine.
it's been a rather epic morning for the hour and a half i've been awake.
felt a little nauseous when i woke up, got stood up for my breakfast date, skipped pilates, tidied up my room, did some laundry, but a band aid on a hairy back (don’t ask), and am just about ready to start my day after a breakfast of goldfish and peanut m&ms.