MY ENDS ARE SO DEAD THAT I DON'T NEED A HAIRCUT...
STEP OFF, YOU SKANK, OR I WILL PERSONALLY GUARANTEE YOUR SLOW AND PAINFUL DISMEMBERMENT VIA GARBAGE DISPOSAL. I don’t own a garbage disposal but you sure as hell can bet that I will find one if that is what it takes to END. YOU.
If I have to hear about her ex-boyfriend one more goddamn time, I’m going to throw myself off the goddamn roof. I’m so glad you’re a alcoholic with daddy issues so much so that you have to literally sleep with any new guy you meet.